Ten good things about being back in Brighton (so far!)

It's coming up to two months since leaving London. Not very long, still, in the grand scheme of things. Because life is life, there have of course been ups and downs, there always will be. It's the first time I've ever returned to a place and I'm finding the apparent sameness and the subtle changes both reassuring and alienating. I'm the same and different to who I was three and a half years ago. We've got to figure out this new relationship. But little by little the dust is settling, and I think I'm starting to feel like myself again. There's been moments when I wonder what the hell we've done, but there's also been more moments recently when I've thought YES, this is good, I'm glad to be here.

So in the spirit of keeping thankful, here's a few of the things that have made my heart happy and feel more at home.

1. Friends and fireworks

I spent fireworks night in London on a friend's amazing balcony, watching the tiny sparkles glimmer over the city. It was a pretty cool perspective with great company alongside. Those few days made me glad that I have gotten to know London a little, and I will still enjoy discovering more of it as I return regularly to visit friends and family. BUT nothing beats seeing fireworks up close, so the following weekend we trooped out in the mist and drizzle to see the local display on Shoreham Beach - where we're living at the moment. The smell, the smoke, the sound, the warmth of the huge bonfire didn't disappoint. And then our little Shoreham crew - hubby's brother and best friends who are pretty much all like family to us - stopped by for one drink at the local pub. Which turned into several more, and tunes on the jukebox and a little bit of mad dancing to the song we walked out of our wedding service to. And ended in ordering the worst kebab ever at 3am. A solid Saturday night. :-)

Life at 30: the kid question

I started writing this while at my sister's house, helping her out with her new baby as her husband returns to work. It seemed fitting. It's a post I've been meaning to write for a while, and may well echo many others out there, but I don't think you can talk about being 30 without covering this topic.

When people realise I'm not 19, and have actually been married for five years, they jump from thinking I'm a child to asking if I'm going to have any. When I tell people I'm a new auntie, several have responded by asking me about my family plans. As I mentioned before, any time I tell people I have news, their eyes immediately widen and look at my belly questioningly.

30th birthday treat: my Arvon week of writing

On this wintery day that's feeling all too bleak for many, I'd like to tell you about the writing week I went on recently. Probably to cheer myself up more than anything else, but hey ho, that's the prerogative of a writer, right?

I want to tell you about it, because it was something I'd looked forward to for so long, a thirtieth birthday present from myself and many others. And if I'm not careful it'll fade too quickly from memory as my head gets crowded with yet another cold, worrying about how I'm going to start making a living, and possibly feeling a bit overwhelmed/shit-scared by this big leap we made recently.

So. Two weeks ago, I drove down to the middle of Devon, to a very very old white house in a phone-signal-less valley.

What's so bad about turning 30?

One of several birthday celebrations :-)

As you probably know, I turned 30 last month.

And I have really tried to celebrate it well. Nearly a month on and I think I've managed that with several different gatherings with different special people. Yep I've been a bit greedy and I'm glad :-) But although I've perhaps had more than my fair share of parties, I intend to continue celebrating and valuing this whole year.

Part of that celebrating is hopefully to write more. So I'll start by sharing some 30-related musings... starting with pondering a bit more on why turning 30 is often seen as a bad thing. These aren't academic essays, they are not fixed opinions, they really are just musings, from my point of view here and now.

One week in: Expectation vs Reality

So a week in and life hasn't exactly looked like how I imagined.

What I expected/hoped for:

Me, becoming all-of-a-sudden highly disciplined and self-motivated: waking up early every day, writing for a couple of hours, maybe going to a walk or run by the sea, meeting up with someone for coffee, and cracking through that big pile of life admin. Cutting right back on watching TV and using social media. Eating well. Feeling rested and energised and READY to become a world famous writer and photographer.

Reality

Me, fighting colds and coughs in several strains that don't seem to go away, blowing my nose through numerous toilet rolls because I keep finishing up the tissues and the washing machine has broken so can't wash the handkerchiefs (yes, I use hankies, they make my oft-wiped nose happier) and generally feeling quite sorry for myself. Getting up late and going to bed early, except when I keep myself up watching Hunted/National Treasure/New Girl/The Apprentice/Gilmore Girls...

Oh the places you'll go...

This post has been a long time coming. A whole summer coming, maybe more. The longer I don't post, the harder it is to start again. Which somehow adds some pressure, even though no one's making me write this!

A whole lot in our life has (once again) changed and is changing. And no, we're not pregnant (because that seems to be the only news you can have when you're 30...)

I've put some bits and pieces on social media, there's a few people who know the whole story and have been walking it with us. It's tempting to try to summarise and analyse life as you go, and there's definitely seasons right for that, but this time I felt it was more important to concentrate on being present with each day, and on focusing on ending things well before leaping too quickly into the NEXT THING.

But now the "next thing" is beginning and it feels like time to tell the tale. Or at least some of it. Like I said, you can't box up life into neat categories. I don't think I can say all the things in the way I'd like to say them.

Anyways, enough of being cryptic. Maybe I'll just start with where I am today, and where I've been.