Thursday, 25 December 2008
And today, we-minus-mother went to St Aldate's church where they had organised Christmas dinner for anyone who was going to be alone, or without a home on Christmas day. I thought we were going to be helping serve, cook, clear, etc (which i would have found easier!) but we actually just ended up hanging out with the people who had come, making them feel welcome, etc. Which if I'm honest doesn't come so naturally for me, especially when most of the guests were middle aged men, but challenges are good for us, no?! And in the end it was pretty fun. A good meal, some classic team games and a bit of Wallace and Gromit to finish off. It was nice to be doing something a bit different, especially as Christmas day often ends up feeling like the "same old thing" and pretty excessive and we end up not actually appreciating all the great gifts that God has given us. I felt overwhelmingly blessed looking across the room at my beautiful sisters and Dad talking to a whole variety of people. So many people must end up spending this day of 'peace and joy' alone. I hope I always keep my doors open to those people, no matter where i am living. And i hope i never take for granted the people around me, because life is not certain - we don't know what tomorrow will bring. SO today i say THANK YOU.
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
to me it is
a whole load of memories. it's walking to school, saturday trips to the library with dad, little sisters having tantrums on the shiny floors of the shopping centre, it's Eastrop park in the summer, the 'lime pits' with our friends, Memorial park with the dog, Hackwood park on wintery sunday afternoons. It's penny sweets and roller boots, mountain bikes and rainbows-brownies-guides-scouts. It's telephone numbers i still remember, knowing people's whole families, South church, community. it's swimming pools, piano and a violin. It's aged 4 to 12. two houses and two schools, two hamsters and one dog. it's the "before the Pikes went to Zambia and picked up funny accents" - the end of how we were. and the beginning of friendships that i hope will last a lifetime.
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Saturday, 20 December 2008
knows you heart?
is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for?
isn't everything you have
and everything you are
sheer gifts from God?
You already have all you need.
You already have more access to God than you can handle.
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Twenty years largely wasted, the years of l'entre deux guerres
Trying to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it.
And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion.
And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate—but there is no competition—
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under conditions
That seem unpropitious.
But perhaps neither gain nor loss.
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.
Home is where one starts from.
As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living.
Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under starlight,
A time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.
Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise.
In my end is my beginning.
(from Four Quarters, 2nd quartet: 'East Coker', part V. emphasis mine.)
before you wonder at my culture-ed-ness, i admit, i have not been sitting in a musty armchair by a large window, nor walking the windswept hills, reading works of poetry. i found the beginning part of this in the front of a book i was about to read for my anthropology essay ('Belief, Language and Experience' by Rodney Needham), while sitting in front of a computer in the library (yessss i am in the library in the holidays!!wrong. but weirdly OK because its quiter and there's actually available computers, and in places i want to sit!). But anyways it made me search for the rest of it, because i think it's beautiful. and says things i've often tried to express in a far clumsier and simplistic manner. and has encouraged me to read more...
Monday, 15 December 2008
Sunday, 14 December 2008
Thursday, 11 December 2008
i'm relieved it's over, although can't relax too much, still got a 4000 word "extended essay" due in january. but still, it's now officially the holidays, yey! everyone's ready for a break. today was pretty full on, doing a spanish presentation and handing in first piece of work that 'counts', but nicely ended with a beautiful thai meal with a beautiful friend. hooray. might still go dancing, not the end of the day yet...
also, the film's conclusion - that happiness has to be SHARED - is something i've been thinking a lot about recently. we're not made to run this race alone.
Friday, 5 December 2008
2. my bicycle. i spent thursday without it, as it rained in the morning and i went to the marina in the evening, hence deeming it worth buying a pricey bus day pass. while taking the bus to uni in the morning felt like quite a treat - arriving early for the first time ever to spanish, unsweaty and not feeling like i was about to collapse - i began to feel a little unfaithful to my trusty bike as Annah cycled past from the marina into town while i sat high and dry in third bus of the day. plus i had to pay extra as it was the "night bus". grr. my love of the 2 wheeled machine really hit home when i had to catch bus number 4 at 3:30am after some boogie-ing in casablanca. thinking i'd be a good girl and not walk home by myself, and thinking i'd save some time by catching the bus i paid another night-bus-pound-extra and found a seat. NEVER AGAIN. i thought that since the buses now go regularly through the night back to the university campuses that the times of hundreds of sweaty very unsteady freshers cramming themselves onto one bus, steaming the windows, singing anti-sussex/brighton uni songs and droning long drunken tales of "can you believe what she said to me...." were over. how wrong i was. now this was all perfectly acceptable in first year but somewhere between then and now i've gotten old/boring/sensible or something. because it was all i could do not to jump off again. thankfully i sat next to someone who felt the same so we moaned like old women. ah, what have i become?! (that said, we old fourth years probably still managed to dance more than everyone else at casablanca....!) in the end i think it would have been quicker to walk. and so, in conclusion, the bike is coming with me next time and forever more.
3. New friends! a mutual friend told me and Cecily to meet up and that we'd get on well. so we did and we did. hooray! answer to prayer for both of us too i think. grrrrrreat.
4. Old friends! a few special ones popped back to brighton so got to catch up. always a good thing.
PS actually on more than one occasion all the above were combined in a general happy mix. even better!
6. Dancing. that'll always be on the list. twice this week... at the CCK ball which has become somewhat of a tradition, despite never having been a member of the church. i was a little worried when the band first began to play and everyone stood awkwardly in their suits and dresses round the edges of the dancefloor, feeling rather full and, well, awkward. but it was all ok in the end with a little stevie wonder and similar delights then a DJ playing pretty much all my fave tunes at the mo. that was when the killer heels finally got kicked off and any attempts at calm sophisticated ball-style dancing were thrown out the window. joy. (barely anyone knew me anyways... and those who did joined in!)
secondly at casablanca, another classic venue (but much better on wednesdays than thursdays which we now no for sure). that said, a valiant effort was made at "making the best of it" and some of us actually ended up staying till the very end dancing to dizzy rascal, shakira and the like, while meeting some guys from spain and mexico. it was good to speak spanish, but that did not mean we wanted to 'continue the fiesta' afterwards with said people. and after all, this is england, the fiesta ends a lot earlier!
7. 'Bills' restaurant. if you haven't gone you HAVE to try it! you will not regret... yes.... i have eaten/drunk out quite a lot this week :-S
8. Sweet Potato wedges. credit goes to Bruce for inspiring me in this culinary area. Second attempt and they were a lot better, just right for serving to 2 lovely ladies who came round last night.
9. Cinema! i rarely go, which means going to the 'movies' remains quite a treat and enough to get me excited at the smell of popcorn and the orange tickets. saw James Bond, which isn't my favourite, but makes me think of my Dad, and the big screen and surround sound make it much more of an experience. and sometimes it's nice watching stuff that doesn't make you think for days afterwards - although those films definitely have their place
10. Christmas fairs - mainly for the memories. and today because i got to sell my homemade cards and be around people from church, and old and young people, and eat cake and feel a bit christmassy.
SO.... a pretty fantastic week really. it's good to recognise the things that make you smile. makes you more grateful. :-)
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Sunday, 30 November 2008
Friday, 28 November 2008
I can predict the next line
It all rhymes
And is rather like the one who went before
Show me some diversity
The dexterity of your fingers on the strings
does not translate to the words that stumble out your mouth
Sing me a new song
Sing the song of the unheard
Voices drowned out by greedy shouts
of those who come to exploit and steal.
Screams shunned by the world
This is not a game
Monopoly of people’s LIVES
Dealt in knives and lies
Where does the £200 come from at ‘GO’?
Did you ever ask yourself that?
The blood was wiped off the gold as if nothing ever happened and it’ll sit there shining under bright lights of fancy jewellers. 24 carat ring.
Ring. Bound. Binding us together in this
Taking place beneath the big blue sky stained black and red by smoke and blood
Heart of Africa
The gun shots drown out the beating beating beating
Beating drums spread the message
“it’s time for change”
Time to end the
Beating beating beating her people down to the ground
The ground that everyone is fighting for.
Where we pay to see the gorillas
The monkeys I mean
Not guerrillas. Not the men
Fighters, guns and camouflage
And a family at home to feed
Just like the next man that he shoots down.
But caught up in this web of greed and intrigue
Only it’s not so intriguing
This is not a film
It’s real and raw
Power and fear
Interplaying on street corners
Driving people from their homes
Flowing like a flood
Of tears and blood
Falling onto this beautiful land.
(response to a conference about the situation in the DRC)
independence our project, however sincerely—is to live a
lie, to fly in the face of reality.
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
so, yesterday, i began something new. i'm now a 'student ambassador', which sounds very grand, but basically means at the moment showing secondary school students around the university and encouraging them to think about higher education. so... campus tours and workshops with 15/16 year olds. It's been good so far, and nice to be doing a job where the time passes quicker and i feel i am learning as i try to relate to and communicate well to these 'young ones'. and man! they really do seem young! funny how you 'grow up' without really realising it and since you're changing along with all your peers you don't notice the changes. But when leading uniform-clad- boys-who-are-still-shorter-than-me across a campus full of colourful (often taller and beard-y if of male variety!) individuals i really do see the difference. that said, i've already been mistaken twice in two days for one of the pupils! Doh!
and at the same time i know i would not have appreciated someone patronising me when i was in year 10. but that's not so likely because part of me doesn't feel much different to Katrina at 15 years old, or even 9. i guess it will be learning to get the balance of embracing the authority that being older gives me to set the tone or the atmosphere - to make people feel valued and comfortable - while not looking down on anyone.
but seriously its made me realise i'm so glad i'm not at school any more! so relieved i'm somewhere where you can find the space to be yourself, where there's no 'popular crew' and you're not looked down on for doing well/doing badly. woop!
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Disturb us, Lord,
Disturb us, Lord,
We ask You to push back
attributed - sir francis drake -1577
Thursday, 20 November 2008
"today i found 'Sex God' in the library".
but realised that may be interpreted in a number of incorrect ways.
today I, quite randomly, found a copy of "SEX GOD" by Rob Bell (a book looking at the links between sexuality an spiritualty) in Sussex University Library. OF ALL PLACES!!! very surprised, but pleased, because I'd been wanting to read it and now i have something to read on train journeys this weekend. woop.
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
That’s ‘Grannie’ spelt with ‘ie’ and not with a ‘y’.
That’s Rosemary and not Elizabeth.
Grandmother, mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend.
Is a tartan skirt, a broach, pearl earrings, lipstick and blusher…
Welcoming us home from school with gingerbread men and nursery tea.
The well spoken English lady.
Then; is Wild White Windswept hair
A navy raincoat
And a dog in tow.
OR; is trousers, gloves, on her knees pruning the roses
In the beautiful garden of the pink house.
Is scrambled egg, roast lamb, apricot fluff and gooseberry fool.
A glass of sherry with cheese and biscuits.
The grandfather clock and the framed photos that fill the dining room.
Countless trips to the crab-pool and the ‘proper sea’.
Is the Woman on the Move…
Wobbling through West Wittering on her ancient bicycle,
Breaking speed limits on her car,
Exploring every part of the harbour in the ‘pram’
And flying off to visit friends and family in far flung places around the world.
Is sat, watching her grandchildren sing, act, dance and play from their living rooms to a cathedral and everywhere in between.
Cheering us on.
Sat, at the kitchen table listening to our stories - always interested - and welcoming in the neighbours as they walk by.
A FRIEND to so many – never a day without a visit, a party, a letter or a phone call.
Granpa’s pride and joy and best friend.
A ‘Flood’ of laughter and a deep ‘Pond’ of kindness.
Inspirational and strong; loving and greatly loved.
Living life to the full.
A life of which I am so proud to have been a part.
In memory of my Grannie, by Katrina Pike.
(Read at her thanksgiving service, 24th October 2008)
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
"cuando tengas algo que decir, dilo; cuando no, tambien. Escribe siempre."
"Cree en ti, pero no tanto; duda de ti, pero no tanto. Cuando sientas duda, cree; cuando creas, duda. En esto estriba la unica verdadera sabiduria que puede acompanar a un escritor."
"Trata de decir la cosas de manera que el lector sienta siempre que en el fondo es tanto o mas inteligente que tu. De vez en cuando procura que efectivamente lo sea; pero para lograr eso tendras que ser mas inteligente que el."
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Religious people speak of God when human knowledge (often out of mental laziness) has reached its limits or when human power fails. Actually, it is always the deus ex machina that they trot out, either as the apparent solution to unsolvable problems or as strength in human failure, and thus always in th exploitation of human weakness and human limits. This necessariy holds only until human beings, by their own strength, push the limits a little farther and God as deus ex machina becomes superfluous, The talk of human limits has in general become questionable to me.... It always seems to me that we are only anxious to save room for God. I would like to speak of God not at the limit but in the middle, not in weakness but in strength, not in death and guilt but in life and human goodness. At the limits it seems better to me to remain silent and leave the unsolvable unsolved.
Monday, 10 November 2008
So, birmingham. total of 7 train, 4 tubes, 2 taxis and some walking in the rain in between. probably about 11 hours of 'transit' altogether. joyous. yes, the cheap-travel-option does have its downsides at times... conclusion: a car would be nice at times.
ANYWAYs, i'd still say it was worth it. First stop: twin's house, who with her friends was about to start a murder mystery party ('murder on the orient express') when i walked in the door after my 'epic' journey so i was greeted by geishas, an american missionary and his indian wife, lady marmalade amongst others. i didn't stay long, swifly walked on down the road to a mutual friend's house who came out to Ibiza this year while i was there. with her, other 'ibiza gals' (here we are!)
and other friends of friends we went to "Drop Beats not Bombs", a peace-promoting rave (!) in the rainbow warehouse. i'm ashamed to say we didn't quite pick up on the "rave" or "warehouse" aspect and so were the only ones in the mile long queue who were not wearing coats, hats, rucksacks, etc... a fact we very much regretted in the freezing wetness! nevermind, after an hour or something we finally got in and got to dance in one (and all) of the 5 different venues... (not before returning the feeling to our feet using the hand-driers in the toilets!)... all stuff i like - some reggae, some drum and bass, some live acts, dubstep (i think...still not sure what that one is!), swing step, etc... so much jumping around with big grin/pouty dancing face... so much so that my phone fell out my pocket and broke. oops... not clever. i didn't even realise, thankfully someone saw and handed it to me.
(glow paint, woop!)
then it was taxi home, toast and nutella and bed at 6am. goooood sleep and a lovely chilled sunday, back in my sister's home where the same 'murder mystery' crew were hanging out, without their masks, dresses and accents! roast chicken and sofas and fairy lights and music and tea and crumpets and newly discovered MC-ing skills of certain persons.... LOVELY. AND, two great friends were also visiting so got to catch up with them. sweet.
now its back to brighton and week 6, can you believe it, already halfway through! life's pretty chilled, which is nice, although maybe a little too much time to think. but its good to be able to spend more time with a more select few doing more select things rather than rush around like a headless chicken. although i still freaked out about having a "free" evening last week, this'll take a while to get used to!
also beginning to think about the future, brought on by gradfairs and the like. its the first time i've let myself do so for a long long time, so set have i been on just FINISHING this whole studying malarky. and i'm not done yet, so i won't get carried away, but its kind of exciting to begin to dream a little.
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
Sunday, 2 November 2008
the only not so fun thing was getting the train back to Brighton at 4am with many drunk teenagers. (grumpy old me!). but worth it.
going out also made me miss Ibiza, especially going to "shipwrecked"!
Friday, 31 October 2008
Thursday, 30 October 2008
He brought me out into a spacious place [and also shelters me]
He rescued me because He delighted in me [i am learning to believe this]
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
maybe i don't want to know.
scared that joy is a mask and confidence clothes and underneath all you would find are hues of blue and grey.
Saturday, 25 October 2008
i was thinking of going to london tonight to celebrate with friends. but instead, i went on a bike ride with my beautiful younger sister and we went on the big ride at the end of the pier. it was GREAT :-) and tonight there are exciting going ons in brighton which i'm sure i shall report about in due course.
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
(waiting for Yinka at russell square)i also went to Camden (first time!) to hang out with 2 beautiful friends of mine. we had a lovely day. :-)
Monday, 20 October 2008