So here I am, in the middle way, having had twenty years—
Twenty years largely wasted, the years of l'entre deux guerres
Trying to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it.
And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion.
And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate—but there is no competition—
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under conditions
That seem unpropitious.
But perhaps neither gain nor loss.
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.
Home is where one starts from.
As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living.
Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under starlight,
A time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.
Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise.
In my end is my beginning.
(from Four Quarters, 2nd quartet: 'East Coker', part V. emphasis mine.)
before you wonder at my culture-ed-ness, i admit, i have not been sitting in a musty armchair by a large window, nor walking the windswept hills, reading works of poetry. i found the beginning part of this in the front of a book i was about to read for my anthropology essay ('Belief, Language and Experience' by Rodney Needham), while sitting in front of a computer in the library (yessss i am in the library in the holidays!!wrong. but weirdly OK because its quiter and there's actually available computers, and in places i want to sit!). But anyways it made me search for the rest of it, because i think it's beautiful. and says things i've often tried to express in a far clumsier and simplistic manner. and has encouraged me to read more...
Twenty years largely wasted, the years of l'entre deux guerres
Trying to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it.
And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion.
And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate—but there is no competition—
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under conditions
That seem unpropitious.
But perhaps neither gain nor loss.
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.
Home is where one starts from.
As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living.
Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under starlight,
A time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.
Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise.
In my end is my beginning.
(from Four Quarters, 2nd quartet: 'East Coker', part V. emphasis mine.)
before you wonder at my culture-ed-ness, i admit, i have not been sitting in a musty armchair by a large window, nor walking the windswept hills, reading works of poetry. i found the beginning part of this in the front of a book i was about to read for my anthropology essay ('Belief, Language and Experience' by Rodney Needham), while sitting in front of a computer in the library (yessss i am in the library in the holidays!!wrong. but weirdly OK because its quiter and there's actually available computers, and in places i want to sit!). But anyways it made me search for the rest of it, because i think it's beautiful. and says things i've often tried to express in a far clumsier and simplistic manner. and has encouraged me to read more...
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