I wrote down the date for the first time this year (just before getting my lip pierced... happy christmas Katrina from husband!): 2012, finally it's here. Seems like 2012 is a big year, like lots of people have been talking about it and looking forward to it for a while... it's Olympics, it's LONDON, it's a leap year, it's a 'complete' number, etc etc... and it's following what's been quite a tumultuous year for many both here in the UK and around the globe.
On reflection, the best thing about 2011 for me has definitely been getting married, and subsequently living together and learning more about each other. I loved our wedding day and honeymoon, and so far so good when it comes to the actual marriage part. Yey. It maybe sounds a bit negative I have to say apart from that 2011 didn't feel particularly special...
Workwise it's been fairly disappointing to be honest. I've been a pre-school worker, cleaner, english teacher, carer and administrator and although none of them have been awful, I can't say I've really enjoyed any of them. I can't say I've been proud at any point to answer the dreaded question of, 'what do you do?', I can't say I've felt fulfilled or like I was doing 'what I was made to do'. But maybe that's too much to hope for?? Maybe the point about pride is key and actually I just need to get over myself? I am certainly grateful to have found employment when I've needed it and perhaps that's enough! I have a roof over my head, I am not abused/exploited/made to work all the hours of the day. I have a lunch hour. I still have energy and time to do things outside of work. Really, I'm very fortunate. (Convinced?!)
I've had a lot of these kind of conversations over the holiday with friends in similar positions: we grew up being told that if we jumped through all the right hoops, worked hard, went to a good uni, etc, then we could pretty much do what we wanted. No one predicted such a change in the economic situation, no one warned us it would be this hard, especially for those of us who weren't totally certain they wanted to be a doctor/teacher/'proper vocation'. So at 25 a lot of us are still stumbling along, doing this and that, feeling like we've let our teachers/parents/etc down but not really sure what to do about it. Can we really blame the 'crisis' or is it us who is at fault. Are we just not doing enough? I look ahead and don't particularly hopeful about things changing and yet at the same time feel that somehow they have to. I don't have answers, I don't know what to think really, except that we can't let our jobs define us or we really will give up!
On a more cheerful note, I've just remembered another highlight of 2012, and a time when, for the most part, I did feel like I was doing something I was made for, and that was the trip to India when I hung out with some awesome people from all over the country and danced with them and worshipped God with them with all my body and mind and soul. A real privilege.
It's also been a year when I've had several opportunities to write and perform and my hope is that this will continue and increase this year. (Resolution: get up earlier, and write more!)
I don't know what 2012 will bring. There's always the possibility of total surprises, which I'm kinda up for. But even if things don't change radically on the surface, as the quote in the previous post referred to, there's always potential for digging deeper into what is already in front of us, for working hard at the things we are good at to get better, for learning more about the world around us, and perhaps most importantly for investing in relationships - with the One who made us and the ones who weave in and out of our day to day lives.
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