a little different this year

our family - that's 3 sisters and me, 2 parents and our japanese lodger (a lovely 20 year old girl) - celebrated Christmas day yesterday because Mum worked today. Instead of the traditional Christmas Dinner, we had cashew nut roast, morrocan style stew, roasted vegetables, coriander flavoured cous cous and... because 'it wouldn't be Christmas without them', some brussel sprouts thrown in for good measure! It was delicious, and nice to feel sort-of-still-healthy even though we were full. Uno, articulate, 'Mama Mia', a village walk were principal features with Canadian port and german stollen thanks to travelling sisters as a nice end to the day.

And today, we-minus-mother went to St Aldate's church where they had organised Christmas dinner for anyone who was going to be alone, or without a home on Christmas day. I thought we were going to be helping serve, cook, clear, etc (which i would have found easier!) but we actually just ended up hanging out with the people who had come, making them feel welcome, etc. Which if I'm honest doesn't come so naturally for me, especially when most of the guests were middle aged men, but challenges are good for us, no?! And in the end it was pretty fun. A good meal, some classic team games and a bit of Wallace and Gromit to finish off. It was nice to be doing something a bit different, especially as Christmas day often ends up feeling like the "same old thing" and pretty excessive and we end up not actually appreciating all the great gifts that God has given us. I felt overwhelmingly blessed looking across the room at my beautiful sisters and Dad talking to a whole variety of people. So many people must end up spending this day of 'peace and joy' alone. I hope I always keep my doors open to those people, no matter where i am living. And i hope i never take for granted the people around me, because life is not certain - we don't know what tomorrow will bring. SO today i say THANK YOU.

Basingstoke

is... to some... "roundabout city", the butt of jokes, culture-less, shopping destination in 'Festival Place', least desirable

to me it is
a whole load of memories. it's walking to school, saturday trips to the library with dad, little sisters having tantrums on the shiny floors of the shopping centre, it's Eastrop park in the summer, the 'lime pits' with our friends, Memorial park with the dog, Hackwood park on wintery sunday afternoons. It's penny sweets and roller boots, mountain bikes and rainbows-brownies-guides-scouts. It's telephone numbers i still remember, knowing people's whole families, South church, community. it's swimming pools, piano and a violin. It's aged 4 to 12. two houses and two schools, two hamsters and one dog. it's the "before the Pikes went to Zambia and picked up funny accents" - the end of how we were. and the beginning of friendships that i hope will last a lifetime.

"I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. i felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life".

Leo Tolstoy, 'Family Happiness'

let's never get too comfortable

winter beauty

a slice of one corinthians four from the message

for who do you know that really knows you,

knows you heart?

and,

even if they did,

is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for?

isn't everything you have

and everything you are

sheer gifts from God?

So what's the point of all this comparing and competing?

You already have all you need.

You already have more access to God than you can handle.

T.S. Eliot

So here I am, in the middle way, having had twenty years—
Twenty years largely wasted, the years of l'entre deux guerres
Trying to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it.
And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion.
And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate—but there is no competition—
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under conditions
That seem unpropitious.
But perhaps neither gain nor loss.
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.

Home is where one starts from.
As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living.
Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under starlight,
A time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.
Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise.
In my end is my beginning.

(from Four Quarters, 2nd quartet: 'East Coker', part V. emphasis mine.)

before you wonder at my culture-ed-ness, i admit, i have not been sitting in a musty armchair by a large window, nor walking the windswept hills, reading works of poetry. i found the beginning part of this in the front of a book i was about to read for my anthropology essay ('Belief, Language and Experience' by Rodney Needham), while sitting in front of a computer in the library (yessss i am in the library in the holidays!!wrong. but weirdly OK because its quiter and there's actually available computers, and in places i want to sit!). But anyways it made me search for the rest of it, because i think it's beautiful. and says things i've often tried to express in a far clumsier and simplistic manner. and has encouraged me to read more...

hammocks

i went to a 'gathering' friday at my friend Xav's house. and his housemate had a hammock in his room. OH. how i would love a hammock. actually, i have one that i bought in Brazil over 6 years ago but have never had a way or space to put it up. come to think of it, i've no idea where it even is now. but anyways, back to this hammock. it was a bit of a mission to get up into it, especially when you are short and not very strong, but i made it. and lay back smiling with my eyes closed swinging over the heads of assorted discussions of travels and spanish and mexico and music and photography and breakdancing... and at that moment could have been anywhere in the world.

the village (berwick)

phew

first term of my fourth and final year is over. think the last 10 weeks have been one of the fastest flying 10 weeks of my life so far! maybe...

i'm relieved it's over, although can't relax too much, still got a 4000 word "extended essay" due in january. but still, it's now officially the holidays, yey! everyone's ready for a break. today was pretty full on, doing a spanish presentation and handing in first piece of work that 'counts', but nicely ended with a beautiful thai meal with a beautiful friend. hooray. might still go dancing, not the end of the day yet...

last night with my flatmates after our "christmas dinner" (errrr.... vegetable lasagne!!) we watched "into the Wild". It's beautiful and sad and thought provoking and based on a true story. a young guy wants to get 'away from it all' - from money and things and lies and broken relationships, so travels around north america, with Alaska as his final destination. does everyone yearn for big open spaces, clear skies, wilderness and majesty? i know i do. a (potentially cheesy yet i really like it) song springs to mind: "wild horses" by Natasha Bedingfield. actually the other day someone said that's the feeling they got from me. this does not encourage my appreciation of academia and stuffy classrooms.

aside: attempted christmas shopping today and it's all too overwhelming.

also, the film's conclusion - that happiness has to be SHARED - is something i've been thinking a lot about recently. we're not made to run this race alone.

"s'all about the wordplay"

my beautiful housemate becca sang at this event ("WORDPLAY") of music and 'spoken word' at the sanctuary cafe on tuesday night. great atmosphere, lovely venue with some tasty food.... i shall return soon! it's a regular event although this was my first time going. made me think about reading some of my poetry one day soon...

good things...

1. spiced (chilli) hot chocolate from 'Iydea' cafe in the North Laines, Brighton. SOOO GOOOOD!



2. my bicycle. i spent thursday without it, as it rained in the morning and i went to the marina in the evening, hence deeming it worth buying a pricey bus day pass. while taking the bus to uni in the morning felt like quite a treat - arriving early for the first time ever to spanish, unsweaty and not feeling like i was about to collapse - i began to feel a little unfaithful to my trusty bike as Annah cycled past from the marina into town while i sat high and dry in third bus of the day. plus i had to pay extra as it was the "night bus". grr. my love of the 2 wheeled machine really hit home when i had to catch bus number 4 at 3:30am after some boogie-ing in casablanca. thinking i'd be a good girl and not walk home by myself, and thinking i'd save some time by catching the bus i paid another night-bus-pound-extra and found a seat. NEVER AGAIN. i thought that since the buses now go regularly through the night back to the university campuses that the times of hundreds of sweaty very unsteady freshers cramming themselves onto one bus, steaming the windows, singing anti-sussex/brighton uni songs and droning long drunken tales of "can you believe what she said to me...." were over. how wrong i was. now this was all perfectly acceptable in first year but somewhere between then and now i've gotten old/boring/sensible or something. because it was all i could do not to jump off again. thankfully i sat next to someone who felt the same so we moaned like old women. ah, what have i become?! (that said, we old fourth years probably still managed to dance more than everyone else at casablanca....!) in the end i think it would have been quicker to walk. and so, in conclusion, the bike is coming with me next time and forever more.

3. New friends! a mutual friend told me and Cecily to meet up and that we'd get on well. so we did and we did. hooray! answer to prayer for both of us too i think. grrrrrreat.

4. Old friends! a few special ones popped back to brighton so got to catch up. always a good thing.

5. Sunshine and sea. Managed to get out and about in the sun and see the sea more than twice this week. which always makes me smile.



PS actually on more than one occasion all the above were combined in a general happy mix. even better!

6. Dancing. that'll always be on the list. twice this week... at the CCK ball which has become somewhat of a tradition, despite never having been a member of the church. i was a little worried when the band first began to play and everyone stood awkwardly in their suits and dresses round the edges of the dancefloor, feeling rather full and, well, awkward. but it was all ok in the end with a little stevie wonder and similar delights then a DJ playing pretty much all my fave tunes at the mo. that was when the killer heels finally got kicked off and any attempts at calm sophisticated ball-style dancing were thrown out the window. joy. (barely anyone knew me anyways... and those who did joined in!)

secondly at casablanca, another classic venue (but much better on wednesdays than thursdays which we now no for sure). that said, a valiant effort was made at "making the best of it" and some of us actually ended up staying till the very end dancing to dizzy rascal, shakira and the like, while meeting some guys from spain and mexico. it was good to speak spanish, but that did not mean we wanted to 'continue the fiesta' afterwards with said people. and after all, this is england, the fiesta ends a lot earlier!


7. 'Bills' restaurant. if you haven't gone you HAVE to try it! you will not regret... yes.... i have eaten/drunk out quite a lot this week :-S

8. Sweet Potato wedges. credit goes to Bruce for inspiring me in this culinary area. Second attempt and they were a lot better, just right for serving to 2 lovely ladies who came round last night.

9. Cinema! i rarely go, which means going to the 'movies' remains quite a treat and enough to get me excited at the smell of popcorn and the orange tickets. saw James Bond, which isn't my favourite, but makes me think of my Dad, and the big screen and surround sound make it much more of an experience. and sometimes it's nice watching stuff that doesn't make you think for days afterwards - although those films definitely have their place

10. Christmas fairs - mainly for the memories. and today because i got to sell my homemade cards and be around people from church, and old and young people, and eat cake and feel a bit christmassy.

SO.... a pretty fantastic week really. it's good to recognise the things that make you smile. makes you more grateful. :-)

"Ordinary Life"

Take me and invade me

Make me someone new

Wake me from the dead

And break me with the truth

Move me and disturb me

Interrupt my peace

Tear open my heart

And pull me to my knees

There's a world outside

That is burning

While I'm turning blinded eyes

While I stand by

I won't survive

To live this ordinary life

I'm not alive

To live this ordinary life

And I will try

To see this world I live in

With Your eyes

To love this world

You've given

With my life

(Starfield)

friends from the beginning :-)

Jen came back for a visit. Anna made mulled wine, mince pies, cake and biscuits. LOVELY.

SING.

Boy sits strumming guitar
I can predict the next line
It all rhymes
And is rather like the one who went before
Show me some diversity
The dexterity of your fingers on the strings
does not translate to the words that stumble out your mouth

Sing me a new song
Sing the song of the unheard
Voices drowned out by greedy shouts
of those who come to exploit and steal.
Screams shunned by the world

This is not a game
Monopoly of people’s LIVES
Dealt in knives and lies
Where does the £200 come from at ‘GO’?
Did you ever ask yourself that?

The blood was wiped off the gold as if nothing ever happened and it’ll sit there shining under bright lights of fancy jewellers. 24 carat ring.
Ring. Bound. Binding us together in this
Tragedy
Travesty
Taking place beneath the big blue sky stained black and red by smoke and blood

Heart of Africa
The gun shots drown out the beating beating beating
Beating drums spread the message
“it’s time for change”
Time to end the
Beating beating beating her people down to the ground
The ground that everyone is fighting for.

Where we pay to see the gorillas
The monkeys I mean
Not guerrillas. Not the men
Fighters, guns and camouflage
And a family at home to feed
Just like the next man that he shoots down.
But caught up in this web of greed and intrigue
Only it’s not so intriguing
This is not a film
It’s real and raw
Power and fear
Interplaying on street corners
Driving people from their homes
Flowing like a flood
Of tears and blood

Falling onto this beautiful land.

(response to a conference about the situation in the DRC)

not independent

We are dependent beings, and to think otherwise—to make
independence our project, however sincerely—is to live a
lie, to fly in the face of reality.

(Gilbert Meilaender)

current studying music...

frou frou
sigur ros
deadmau5
imogen heap
sinead o'connor
Ibiza Annual 2008
los rebujitos
sixpence non the richer
delerium
mat kearney
fondo flamenco

new job!

after years of waitressing, cleaning, and working with small children, this year i decided it was time for a change with regards to a part time job.

so, yesterday, i began something new. i'm now a 'student ambassador', which sounds very grand, but basically means at the moment showing secondary school students around the university and encouraging them to think about higher education. so... campus tours and workshops with 15/16 year olds. It's been good so far, and nice to be doing a job where the time passes quicker and i feel i am learning as i try to relate to and communicate well to these 'young ones'. and man! they really do seem young! funny how you 'grow up' without really realising it and since you're changing along with all your peers you don't notice the changes. But when leading uniform-clad- boys-who-are-still-shorter-than-me across a campus full of colourful (often taller and beard-y if of male variety!) individuals i really do see the difference. that said, i've already been mistaken twice in two days for one of the pupils! Doh!

and at the same time i know i would not have appreciated someone patronising me when i was in year 10. but that's not so likely because part of me doesn't feel much different to Katrina at 15 years old, or even 9. i guess it will be learning to get the balance of embracing the authority that being older gives me to set the tone or the atmosphere - to make people feel valued and comfortable - while not looking down on anyone.

but seriously its made me realise i'm so glad i'm not at school any more! so relieved i'm somewhere where you can find the space to be yourself, where there's no 'popular crew' and you're not looked down on for doing well/doing badly. woop!

cousins

this is from a few weeks ago, taken by a family friend, Sean.

DISTURB US

Disturb us, Lord,

when

We are too well pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we have dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord,

when

With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst

For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord,

to dare more boldly,

To venture on wider seas

Where storms will show your mastery;

Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back

The horizons of our hopes;

And to push into the future

In strength, courage, hope, and love.

attributed - sir francis drake -1577

Sex God

i was going to say:

"today i found 'Sex God' in the library".

but realised that may be interpreted in a number of incorrect ways.

So:

today I, quite randomly, found a copy of "SEX GOD" by Rob Bell (a book looking at the links between sexuality an spiritualty) in Sussex University Library. OF ALL PLACES!!! very surprised, but pleased, because I'd been wanting to read it and now i have something to read on train journeys this weekend. woop.

Goodbye IV

Grannie.

That’s ‘Grannie’ spelt with ‘ie’ and not with a ‘y’.
That’s Rosemary and not Elizabeth.

Grandmother, mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend.

Is a tartan skirt, a broach, pearl earrings, lipstick and blusher…
Welcoming us home from school with gingerbread men and nursery tea.
The well spoken English lady.

Then; is Wild White Windswept hair
A navy raincoat
Wellies
And a dog in tow.

OR; is trousers, gloves, on her knees pruning the roses
In the beautiful garden of the pink house.

Is scrambled egg, roast lamb, apricot fluff and gooseberry fool.
A glass of sherry with cheese and biscuits.
The grandfather clock and the framed photos that fill the dining room.

Countless trips to the crab-pool and the ‘proper sea’.

Is the Woman on the Move…
Wobbling through West Wittering on her ancient bicycle,
Breaking speed limits on her car,
Exploring every part of the harbour in the ‘pram’
And flying off to visit friends and family in far flung places around the world.

THEN;
Is sat, watching her grandchildren sing, act, dance and play from their living rooms to a cathedral and everywhere in between.
Cheering us on.

Sat, at the kitchen table listening to our stories - always interested - and welcoming in the neighbours as they walk by.

A FRIEND to so many – never a day without a visit, a party, a letter or a phone call.

Granpa’s pride and joy and best friend.

A ‘Flood’ of laughter and a deep ‘Pond’ of kindness.

Inspirational and strong; loving and greatly loved.

Living life to the full.

A life of which I am so proud to have been a part.


In memory of my Grannie, by Katrina Pike.
(Read at her thanksgiving service, 24th October 2008)

a saying from zimbabwe

IF YOU CAN WALK

YOU CAN DANCE

IF YOU CAN TALK

YOU CAN SING

(from a postcard on our mantlepiece)

Monterroso

Del Decalogo del Augusto Monterroso, escritor guatemalteco...

Primero.
"cuando tengas algo que decir, dilo; cuando no, tambien. Escribe siempre."

Noveno.
"Cree en ti, pero no tanto; duda de ti, pero no tanto. Cuando sientas duda, cree; cuando creas, duda. En esto estriba la unica verdadera sabiduria que puede acompanar a un escritor."

Decimo.
"Trata de decir la cosas de manera que el lector sienta siempre que en el fondo es tanto o mas inteligente que tu. De vez en cuando procura que efectivamente lo sea; pero para lograr eso tendras que ser mas inteligente que el."

my friends make me laugh

Bonhoeffer on God

THE TALK OF HUMAN LIMITS

Religious people speak of God when human knowledge (often out of mental laziness) has reached its limits or when human power fails. Actually, it is always the deus ex machina that they trot out, either as the apparent solution to unsolvable problems or as strength in human failure, and thus always in th exploitation of human weakness and human limits. This necessariy holds only until human beings, by their own strength, push the limits a little farther and God as deus ex machina becomes superfluous, The talk of human limits has in general become questionable to me.... It always seems to me that we are only anxious to save room for God. I would like to speak of God not at the limit but in the middle, not in weakness but in strength, not in death and guilt but in life and human goodness. At the limits it seems better to me to remain silent and leave the unsolvable unsolved.

from "i want to live these days with you" (daily devotions by Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Nov 7th)

brighton AND HOVE

from the bike ride with my sister the other weekend... i'd always planned to explore this end of the the city but never made it before. i like it. The first one is an old swimming pool slide, i used to love going on those slides that went out the building and then in again. this picture is quite sad though, like an old memory.

update

time for a post i think, as i sit in my room, listening to some Ibiza choons and relax my aching body after some hardcore breakdance training following straight on from a little "break away" to birmingham. i say that like going away at the weekend is rare. it definitely isn't. i don't know if it's a good thing or not, but anyways i'm making the most of not having TOO much work right now as i suspect come january i'll be tied to my desk.



So, birmingham. total of 7 train, 4 tubes, 2 taxis and some walking in the rain in between. probably about 11 hours of 'transit' altogether. joyous. yes, the cheap-travel-option does have its downsides at times... conclusion: a car would be nice at times.

ANYWAYs, i'd still say it was worth it. First stop: twin's house, who with her friends was about to start a murder mystery party ('murder on the orient express') when i walked in the door after my 'epic' journey so i was greeted by geishas, an american missionary and his indian wife, lady marmalade amongst others. i didn't stay long, swifly walked on down the road to a mutual friend's house who came out to Ibiza this year while i was there. with her, other 'ibiza gals' (here we are!)

and other friends of friends we went to "Drop Beats not Bombs", a peace-promoting rave (!) in the rainbow warehouse. i'm ashamed to say we didn't quite pick up on the "rave" or "warehouse" aspect and so were the only ones in the mile long queue who were not wearing coats, hats, rucksacks, etc... a fact we very much regretted in the freezing wetness! nevermind, after an hour or something we finally got in and got to dance in one (and all) of the 5 different venues... (not before returning the feeling to our feet using the hand-driers in the toilets!)... all stuff i like - some reggae, some drum and bass, some live acts, dubstep (i think...still not sure what that one is!), swing step, etc... so much jumping around with big grin/pouty dancing face... so much so that my phone fell out my pocket and broke. oops... not clever. i didn't even realise, thankfully someone saw and handed it to me.

(glow paint, woop!)


then it was taxi home, toast and nutella and bed at 6am. goooood sleep and a lovely chilled sunday, back in my sister's home where the same 'murder mystery' crew were hanging out, without their masks, dresses and accents! roast chicken and sofas and fairy lights and music and tea and crumpets and newly discovered MC-ing skills of certain persons.... LOVELY. AND, two great friends were also visiting so got to catch up with them. sweet.

now its back to brighton and week 6, can you believe it, already halfway through! life's pretty chilled, which is nice, although maybe a little too much time to think. but its good to be able to spend more time with a more select few doing more select things rather than rush around like a headless chicken. although i still freaked out about having a "free" evening last week, this'll take a while to get used to!


also beginning to think about the future, brought on by gradfairs and the like. its the first time i've let myself do so for a long long time, so set have i been on just FINISHING this whole studying malarky. and i'm not done yet, so i won't get carried away, but its kind of exciting to begin to dream a little.

>>> Don't let me run from the mess

i'm appreciating...

David Crowder Band's album "A Collision or (3+4=7)"

some good lyrics and a more varied selection of style than that of other Christian artists.

GH75

my friend and best-dancing-companion from Ibiza, Michael, DJ-ed in Brixton last night with 'Gettin Hectic'. we grooved, along with another couple of lovely ibiza/london/clubbing-related-friends and posed with the multitude of umbrellas out on the terrace. nice touch.

the only not so fun thing was getting the train back to Brighton at 4am with many drunk teenagers. (grumpy old me!). but worth it.

going out also made me miss Ibiza, especially going to "shipwrecked"!

inexpressible groans

the burdens we lovingly bear but cannot understand...the inexpressable longings of our hearts for things we cannot comprehend... They are often a groan rather than a song, and a burden rather than a floating feather... difficulties too complicated to put into words and too puzzling to express or fully understand... when your heart hurts and your insides clench... the world is a mess and the tears fall...

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express"

(october 30th 'streams in the desert', me, romans 8:26)

bittersweet day

goodbye III

Sean led us out of the church playing the bagpipes. two of my beautiful sisters followed him with white roses in their hands and the rest of us solemnly filed behind, stepping out of the small village chapel into the sunny, well-kept graveyard. the colour of the sky and the grass and the flowers appeared particularly vibrant. the scottish melody filled the air and suddenly it all seemed rather royal, and rather beautiful and yet still natural with the smell of the sea in the air and the green fields stretching out behind the stone wall. just rather fitting, really, for such a lady.

anthropology seminars

"discourse...marxism...liminal...dichotomy...marxism...empirical...uh...and...its...like... more...long...words...and...we...don't...really...have...any...answers..."

rescue

He drew me out of deep waters [and He is also DEEP]

He brought me out into a spacious place [and also shelters me]

He rescued me because He delighted in me [i am learning to believe this]

me underneath

life is many layered. as are we. when everything is stripped away, what is left?

maybe i don't want to know.

scared that joy is a mask and confidence clothes and underneath all you would find are hues of blue and grey.

hold me tight so i don't fall apart
hold me gently so i don't break
don't let me slip through your fingers

independence day

happy belated birthday to Zambia. it was 44 yesterday...

i was thinking of going to london tonight to celebrate with friends. but instead, i went on a bike ride with my beautiful younger sister and we went on the big ride at the end of the pier. it was GREAT :-) and tonight there are exciting going ons in brighton which i'm sure i shall report about in due course.

God as gardener

Mary mistook Jesus for the gardener after he'd risen from the dead. Maybe she was not so mistaken.

Gardener: one who works in a garden.

Garden: where life began and ended (Eden) and ended in order for it to begin again (Gethsemane) ... the seed first has to die in order to bear fruit.

The gardener DELIGHTS in seeing things grow. the garden is his joy. sees potential in bare soil. kneels on the ground and gets his hands dirty. cannot force growth but does all he can to prepare and encourage and maintain

"...while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful" ---

[those who do not garden may not understand the seemingly harsh necessary measures taken]

BUT "if you knew I was GOOD... then while you might not always understand what i am doing, you would trust me"

(i know i've used this quote before but i love it!)

"this garden is your soul. this mess is you! Together, you and I, we have been working with a purpose in your heart. And it is wild and beautiful and perfectly in process. To you it seems like a mess, but to me, see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive...

quotes from the new testament and 'the shack'.

london (again)

as well as going to 'Epic worship' this weekend, i met up with my friend Yinka, who i see nearly everytime i go to london and we always meet in a different place and walk and talk about just about anything and everything and then go our separate ways again!

(waiting for Yinka at russell square)

i also went to Camden (first time!) to hang out with 2 beautiful friends of mine. we had a lovely day. :-)

Sunrise

"Pilgrim was taken to a large upper room that faced the sunrise. And the name of the room was Peace." (Pilgrim's progress)

sunrise over brighton

"EPIC WORSHIP"...

... is a night put on by my friend Nick who loves trance music and loves God and combines the two... in a basement in old street... and a random selection of beautiful people who came to express their worship and prayers in dance and paint and words and more...

erasmus snapshots

i've just entered an erasmus competition for which i had to submit 6 photos that summed up my "erasmus experience". i've posted some of them here. it's great to be able to look back and remember the good times and trips and people. I just focused them on the first 6 months abroad as my time in Badajoz was pretty far from typical! and yesterday i spoke at the 'year abroad fair' which is for the second years who are in the process of chosing their year abroad destination. I can't believe that was us TWO YEARS ago! I hope i didn't come across too negatively. Everyone will tell them that they'll have an amazing time, which they will, but i guess the three of us that spoke wanted to give more of a realistic picture; a bit of a warning that it won't all be easy, and that that's ok. because i think i wished that someone had said that to me before i went. but afterwards i worried a bit that we'd scared them all! Ah well.... :-)

it all seems very distant now. especially Sevilla. but i am seeing in bits and pieces how i have grown through it, especially in confidence (SOME of the time!!) and the privilege it was to be able to go.