I think actually today wasn't the first time i started appreciating Sevilla more, like I said in the last post. It was actually at the weekend, when i went to the cold and rainy North of England! And instead of feeling like i was "home", i ended up thinking of Spain the whole time. I guess it has been my life for 3 months... (Crazy how in just 3 hours I arrived back in England; which always seems so far away).
And i think i felt more out of place at the football match watching Wigan play Man-city than i ever have done here. The anthropologist in me (yes it's having an effect on me!!) was thinking on overload about England's cultural and regional differences! But i won't confuse/bore you with all those thoughts! Or maybe it's more a case that i feel kind of embarrassed that I didn't feel totally at ease. And that I was thinking more about taking photos of the stadium than watching the match. Does that make me a snob? Maybe just a female!!
That said i did have a really good time - I ate lots of good food, spoke to lots of friends on the phone, chilled, saw friends in Manchester and enjoyed hanging out with Will. I just felt a little disconnected, and catching a cold on the plane on the way there didn't really help! This disconnection continued when I came back and I realised it's something i've felt for a while. Or NOT felt. That's the problem, it's like my feelings have been toned down leaving me feeling kind of numb when in my head i have every reason to feel happy/sad/excited/nervous... sometimes i think it's a kind of peace - preventing me getting overly upset about things that in the grander perspective don't really matter. but sometimes i just feel like i'm not quite human. and that scares me.
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