I didn’t go into marriage with a whole load of expectations. 21 months ago I was still quite surprised to be getting married at all, let alone at only 24. I’d learnt from watching friends that marriage isn’t always everything people hope or expect it to be (in both positive and negative ways), so I decided to enter into the adventure with a pretty open mind, I’d say.
However, there were
a few things I thought would change, what with moving from single to married
life. Bear in mind that it was a bigger
jump than for most people: before
getting married I’d never lived with any boy my own age – boyfriend or not –
and neither had I had sex. Yeh, bit crazy
I know.
So here are a few expectations I had, and the actual
truth...
I’d
wear sexy nightwear to bed
We both usually sleep in old, threadbare PE
shirts from secondary school and pyjama bottoms with animals on. Very sexy.
I’d
love sharing a bed and we’d cuddle all night
Ha.
It actually took ages to get used to sharing a bed, especially because
our beds so far have been quite small and uncomfortable. I’ll admit I would happily ‘snuggle’ all
night, because I always feel cold – but apparently that’s because I’m emitting
it all toward hubby and making him too hot.
And...another reason why he doesn’t want me nestling up to him is that I
snore in his ear. Just a tiny bit. OK OK
so maybe he had to buy ear plugs recently...
So after chatting and ‘what-not’ (!) there’s
a goodnight kiss and we both turn over and sleep back to back.
Does anyone actually ‘spoon’ all night
anyways? What does the person behind do
with their arm to prevent it going numb?
I swear it must just be another one of those film-lies that make us all feel inadequate.
Oh and also, morning breath! Nuff said.
I’d
look older – you know, more wifely
People still ask me how college is going
and I still get ID’ed when buying alcohol.
Even last week when at Penzance Whetherspoons with two friends in their
30’s! That said, I’m still wearing
clothes I had as a teenager so I might not be helping myself.
I’d
turn into a ‘proper lady’ that takes care of her appearance
Hmm.
Sorry hubby to disappoint. I’m
still lazy when it comes to hair removal, and I rarely wear makeup. In my mind that makes it all the more special
when I do. I’m not sure Mr Q appreciates
this point of view. Ah well. Too late
now! [evil laugh]
I
wouldn’t miss my old surname
I was happy to change my name – I’m not
famous, I’m not a published author, and I like the sound of my new
surname. But there are moments, especially
when I’m around my family, that I miss being a Pike and am sad not to be
immediately identified with the Pike clan.
I also still call myself Katrina Pike when I talk to myself!
All in all I suppose what hasn’t changed a whole lot, is
me! And these expectations were more superficial
than anything else. They don’t mean a
whole lot when it comes down to love, which is most important. (Although I do think it’s good for us girls
to look and feel beautiful from time to time, for our own sake as much as the
other half).
There’s other things that I didn’t expect – like the fact I’m
now used to and enjoy referring to Mr Q as ‘my husband’.
How we make each
other laugh more now than before.
That we’re not bored
of each other yet (!)
AND that I haven’t totally scared Mr Q away with my tears,
moods, and general being a complicated woman.
So there we go.
Marriage doesn’t look exactly how I imagined.
But I like it.
What expectations of yours have been proved wrong (or right?)
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