library sustenance/work avoidance

i have discovered two beautiful (yet pricey) items of nourishment in the union shop this week.

1. Innocent Smoothie: MANGO, COCONUT and LEMONGRASS flavour. A-MAZING.
2. Salty Dog Crisps: Salt and Black pepper flavour.

hmm i really will write about anything to avoid doing the work i SHOULD be doing! i'm on 6300 words roughly (out of 8000). which isn't too bad. still got the weekend. fun times.

managed to change degree to cut out some literature courses which could have slowly killed me and instead do a course in Human rights (next year). score.

my friends all get their final results today. Can't believe it's the end for them. 3 years just like that. bam. and i've still got a year to go. i don't feel ready to finish academically (still don't feel i have learnt a whole lot - probably my fault), or socially - still got some quality hanging out to do with some quality people, but i do feel kind of 'old' being on campus, in that i have gone away and done 'the next step' as it were - going and making a life for myself by myself - only to feel like i'm taking a step backwards by re-entering student life.

i'll get over it :-)

speed...

last week in Oxford at a friend's 21st birthday party i went go-karting for the first time. It was much fun! I think i am too wimpish/careful (?)/UN-reckless to ever become someone who's good at driving things really fast. I'd like to be a little less like that, but i think its just the way i'm made! At least i stayed within the cones, unlike my twin sister...

more things

coconut yoghurts, bombonas, longlife milk, tostadas, 'baila chiki chiki' (spanish eurovision entry), balconies, rooves that you can sit on, big skies, olive trees, empty roads (outside the city), panic when it rains...

bits and brighton bobs

it's great to be in Brighton, that "fresh sea air"... (less hayfever!) but much more because i get to see some wonderful people, in between struggling with 8000 word spanish dissertation in the library.

i'm now blond, via unwanted detour into ginger. i was born with ginger-ish hair and my theory is every time i dye my hair (which hasn't been that often) those ginger roots are determined to express themselves. i then burnt some of said newly blond hair on a candle in a pub in brighton. someone smelt it burning and warned me. oops. thank goodness i wasn't wearing hairspray! but yeh, my thinking was... new season, new hair :o)

its weird not seeing many familiar faces on campus; bumping into friends was one of the things i loved about uni before. now nearly everyone has finished and is graduating. crazy! altho there'll be a 'good bunch' around next year too. thankfully.

you know you're on sussex campus when you pass a guy dressed as a giraffe holding a boom box with music blaring out and no one bats an eyelid. love it.

we went to a spanish restaurant on sunday night to celebrate a friend's birthday. it was cool being able to order in spanish, but the tapas were SO expensive! rip off! no more albondigas (meatballs) for 2 euros. £4.35 my friend, £4.35. here ends my eating out habits of the last 9 months :o(

right, now off to see if i can change my degree again. haha! they must love me. well, if they do have such an unflexible structure they've got to expect it... basically i think doing a course in 'european prose' in my final year may kill me, so am trying to do something about avoiding it!

hasta luego.

DAD

on a more positive note, today is Fathers Day (in England anyways).

and i just want to say that i couldn't be more proud to be the daughter of Philip Pike and couldn't ask for a better Dad.

Thank you.

I love you.

grey skies

i guess it's easier to feel 'peaceful' and OK in the midst of goodbyes because afterall you are still with the people, and you don't yet know what it will feel like to not be with them. and it's easier to feel content when the sun is shining and the sky is blue (literally).

it's harder when you're not there anymore. when your country lives up to its stereotypes in grey skys and cold weather (yet still hayfever!) and in general not massively warm people (on the surface anyways). when what you've come back to isn't the same as what you left and neither are you. and when the people you miss are far enough away you cannot drop round for the afternoon.

not meaning to sound miserable, i know it will take time. i know everything will be ok. and i knew it wouldn't be a 'walk in the park'. maybe today i just wish it was like that. BUT i prefer this to feeling relieved to have left, which is what i might have felt earlier in the year. i don't want to waste time feeling sorry for myself, i've done that before; i don't want to lose the joy i found the last few months, but it might just take some searching, some actively looking for or even creating the good, and it might just take some time.