What I remembered/learned, this weekend

Sometimes, after another one of THOSE weeks, (I think) you've got to say:

F*** the cough and the cold that have been clutching icy fingers around your chest
and F*** the late night tears when all the unanswered questions overwhelm
and F*** feeling lonely
and F*** the dark cloud overhead
and F*** not consuming dairy, caffeine or alcohol
and say 'Fuck' out loud

And get on a train
And have one more little cry
And then slap on some more foundation over the shadows under your eyes
And take a big gulp of the gin and tonic your sister-in-law hands you
And apply red lipstick generously
And wear ridiculously short shorts that show off the tattoo no one usually sees
And wobble downstairs in high heels
And throw your arms around people you love
And have some more gin and tonic
And dance
And dance
And dance


And sometimes (I think) it's enough

To curl up on the sofa with your sister-friend and knit and watch Friends, because you've talked all you feel like talking and you have more questions than answers anyways

To lose yourself in the pages of a story that reminds you of the wonder of this world right here

To sit in church unsure of what it's all about and what you believe but your hand is resting on your dear dear friend's growing baby-bump and one thing you do know is that there is a miracle and there is the answer to 100 prayers

To blow kisses across the room to people you hold in the highest regard - those prophets and artists and clowns who don't fit easy but love widely and you know they love and SEE you

To listen to other people for a change rather than your own swirling thoughts, to get some perspective and forget to worry

To simply enjoy the moment.