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Thursday 6 November 2014

Autumn ramblings

There's been lots of poems recently, so thought it was time for a bit of a life-update. Because I still don't really have a clear focus for this blog, haha! But then I'm not a one-thing kind of person.

I have started a photography website, because... well because one day I'd like to be doing more of that in my life, and it's somewhere just to have images and barely any words. It's not looking quite how I'd like it to yet, but it's a work in progress, like me, like many things in life.

I still wonder at what and when and how much to share here. How much to explain? How much to reason? How much to fill in the blanks? Even if I wanted to, I'm not sure I'd know how. Today, I'll just write, and see what comes.





The seasons are changing, the days are getting darker, no more running down to the sea after work to swim. SAD FACE. The approach of Winter stirs a little seed of dread in my stomach. It's just so long. And grey. And cold. And dark. And lots of things I don't like very much. And last Winter was pretty lonely and sucky.  And I don't want that again.

About this time last year we'd nearly decided to up and leave it all and move to Portugal. We did make several changes, but we're still here, down the end of the land. We didn't run away. We still have (quite a few) lonely days. We still struggle to fit into church and sometimes wonder where God is and what He's thinking and why we are here. But we haven't run away. And we're trying to be present, and get 'stuck in'. (And right from the start and all along we've met some brilliant people - and for that I'm very grateful - and am not trying to take away from that fact when I say we find it hard sometimes).

Llewellyn is studying art and design at college (making and drawing lots of awesome stuff!), with the aim of studying animation at University next year. Which one and where remains a mystery... for now... so watch this space! But I'm trying not to think about that too much at the moment, and concentrate on being in Penzance.  Which is a little hard when I spend all day in my living room on the computer working for a company based in London (and soon Sri Lanka!!).  And when said job - although I am most thankful for it and couldn't really ask for anything better in this season - uses up most of my energy and creativity.

That said, in the past few months I've performed poetry several times, and each occasion seems to open up a new opportunity. Like at the weekend I went to a poetry night in Exeter and out of doing one poem in the slam, I've just been asked to do a 10 minute PAID slot at an event in Plymouth in a couple of weeks. Woop! :-)


One thing that's really great about Penzance is how easy it is to get into a conversation with strangers. And once you start talking, and getting to know people, then you realise there's more happening down here than you thought! Following on from the literature festival in the summer, a few of us have started a monthly gathering of poets, storytellers, musicians and anyone else who wants to connect and share their work. So that's exciting and will brighten up the winter for sure. The other day we were at an open mic night in the pub around the corner, and afterwards Llewellyn said for the first time he felt 'at home'. We actually knew or recognised several people there, and I think both of us felt able to relax, and like we weren't on the outside looking in.

These moments we treasure. 

I think I'm learning a bit more about what it meant when it says Mary kept all these things in her heart: the moments, the conversations, the sun-rays bursting through the cloud times... this is what keeps us going when darkness gathers, when lonely afternoons linger, when we forget our reason for today.

Other treasured moments recently have been worship times in various places with various people - these are the times the poems have sprung from - and I'm thankful for spaces of freedom and creativity and testimonies and men and women that leak joy and grace and inspiration. And I'm thankful for the One who unites us in all our diversity and weird and wonderful ways. Even when there's aspects of the faith I've grown up with that I question more than ever, even when there are frustrations and doubts and disappointment, still there is hope, and still there is a certainty in my soul.

I think that's a good place to pause, for now.


Having grumbled about the changing seasons, yesterday there were fireworks, and half of Penzance gathered on the prom, and sparklers, and my new winter coat, and spellbound faces of my friends' children. More moments to treasure.

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