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Saturday 10 May 2014

Time and time.

Hey, how you doing? It's been a while.


As you can tell from the last post, we went back to Brighton a few weeks ago to catch up with friends.  It was a really good time, full of great food, lazy afternoons and long conversations.  It made me thankful once again for the relationships we have there, relationships that developed over time and trials and tea and trips and other things beginning with 't' plus lots of other letters.  Friendships take time to grow, don't they? I have to remember that on the lonely Penzance days. Valuable things don't generally happen all at once.  Diamonds, wine, gardens, love. (But, we are getting to know more people now, and the sky is getting brighter).


Even in the midst of all the good I still managed to have a very anxious afternoon/evening on one of the days, leading to bucket loads of tears under the covers and feeling totally crap.  I don't know where it came from, couldn't think of any obvious reason for feeling like that. I don't get me sometimes.  But I know I'm not the only one who has those days, which kind of helps. Not that I'm glad that people I love also suffer from those dark-desperate moments.  That's why we need each other. Time. Tears. Together.


For the first time, I didn't dread driving 'home' to Cornwall.  The threads of life seem to be coming together a little more what with the move, and church, and job, etc.  I'm still adjusting to working from home, working full time, working one job, working in front of a PC all day... Tired brain and cabin fever and desperate-for-a-face-to-face-conversation by 5pm! But I've decided not to give myself too much of a hard time. I'm accepting that it takes a while to get used to change. Time. Again. Give it time.


So yeh. We're slowly chipping away at this town, at attempts to be creative, at new friendships and at doing the things we believe we're made to do.  Nothing big, nothing dramatic. Some days we just work and eat watch Game of Thrones and go to bed.  Other days... An early morning run. A dawn prayer. Reading a poem to a half-empty bar. A cup of coffee with a mother who needs some company. A walk by the sea. A guest for dinner.

Time and time and taking care of the small seeds that can grow into big trees.


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