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Thursday 16 February 2012

love, unfailing

Here's me and Mr Q all dressed up on a Saturday night... we were about to go out for a yummy Chinese meal for a friends birthday (where I tried frogs legs for the first time!), and decided to dress up a bit.  Yes, believe it or not,that's us making an effort, I hope you can tell and appreciate ;-)  Mr Q even cracked out the suit, although had to wear a hoodie and a jersey underneath because it was so cold!  But he still looked mighty fine to me :-D

So.  This week sees us married for 5 months, engaged one year ago, celebrating our 3rd Valentine's day together, started dating (approximately) 3.5 years ago, and first met 4.5 years ago. Wow!  If you'd told me, in September 2008, on my first Sunday back at church after a year away in Spain, that a few years down the line I'd become the wife of that cute-quiet-guy-with-dark-hair-that-I've-not-seen-before-who-must-be-my-friends'-brother... well, I don't know what I would have thought!  Possibly I'd have felt excited, terrified and utterly disbelieving.  It wasn't the 'right time' just yet anyways, so a good thing I didn't have an inkling of what was to come.  Except it's funny how I remember that day so clearly.

And here we are, learning how to be a Mr and Mrs, learning how to really support each other when the going gets tough, slowly realising that this is forever (which is a relief, yet still a shock sometimes, and occassionally a little overwhelming).  Some days we relish each other's weirdness, and quirks.  Other days those differences seem like such a 'big deal' when really they are so insignificant and all that's required is a bit of give and take but the selfish side of me sometimes has a louder voice.  Somedays, or some moments in a day, I'm proud of how much of a team we feel, and how we 'get each other', then the next moment I'm thinking 'oh my gosh who is this man in my bed, and how on earth do I care for and love someone else besides myself, when I can barely hold myself together sometimes and I can't read his mind, and I don't share his past, and the future is all so very unknown'.   Yes today I'm feeling small.  And quite uncapable of being a wife.  And frustrated that I can't make 'everything OK' for someone I love when things are hard.

But I know tomorrow might be different, and that life happens one day at a time, and mornings are great because they are a chance to start over.  And I know there's plenty of wisdom and support around, we just gotta ask for help sometimes.  And I don't have to be his saviour and neither him mine. And I know it's OK not to have it all 'sorted', even though it's uncomfortable and I just don't like it!  But I know we musn't give up, because love doesn't give up.  *It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.

Love never fails, even though we might.  So I'm thankful that we know One greater, One who will never fail us.  One who first loved us.  One who showed us and shows us what love looks like.  One who IS love.

* 1 Corinthians 13:7

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