Thursday 17 November 2011

(Wife) Life

Our wedding rings are wooden, hand made by Stout Woodworks - a small American company. We love them!

Well it's two months since we tied the knot, and we've finally got internet in our flat, so thought it was about time for an update. Part of me thinks, 'what, only two months?!' - feels like we've been married for a lot longer... and another part of me still feels like we're pretending and I'll wake up from this dream. I think part of the surreal-ness is having our own place - after two years of living in other people's houses, and student housing before that - this feels like a massive treat! Although the people I've lived with have all been brilliant, I am loving living somewhere that's really my home, somewhere I'm quite content to spend Sunday afternoons in, somewhere I can have people over whenever I like, and sharing all this with MY HUSBAND!! :-)

I still can't quite believe I am a wife. I look at the ring on my finger in surprise. I wonder if people can tell as I walk down the street. Do I look different? I have to admit I find it slightly awkward telling people my new name - especially the Mrs part - mainly because I know I look and sound younger than I am, and I wait for the surprised responses. Not that I should care about what other people think, but I am aware that being married by 25 is not that common anymore, I certainly wasn't expecting it for myself. But, life is full of surprises and I am glad glad glad for this one.

Lots of people warned us that the first year of marriage is the hardest - and perhaps it will be - and although I'm not going to pretend it'll be easy all the time, I also don't want to accept that it will be defined by how difficult it is to bring two lives together. I want to keep focussed on all the good even amongst struggles, and that's for all of our lives, not just the marriage part. Easier said than done, I realise, but a good aim, no?


It's hard when little misunderstandings and different ways of doing things become big things and for a while we are silent and frustrated and feel somewhat divided. But it's GREAT when we get over ourselves, talk about it, see it from each other's point of view, hug, and get back to being united, perhaps even a little bit more than before.

And being unemployed has been hard and depressing at times, but at the same time I am really grateful for the time it gave me to do all the other life-admin bits and bobs, to have more time with Mr Q, and also to have time to recover from a crazy busy year.

Unemployment comes with money worries, which can be one of the most destructive things, but we have seen such amazing provision and have always had enough. We're learning to trust God, and each other more. We learn what things we can do without, and then feel so very grateful when we receive something unexpectedly. Like a job!! woo hoo!

And the job may not be my dream, but again, after time without work, and hearing so much on the news about unemployment, I am so thankful for those hours of cleaning, caring and administration!!

And sometimes the fact that I am still in Brighton after 6 years frustrates me, and I can't see quite why, and I am restless and impatient and longing for adventure and to be on the move. Yet, Brighton is full of countless good things that I know we'll miss when we do one day 'set sail'. So for now here's to deepening relationships, being hospitable, working hard and learning from our jobs, enjoying the sea, and getting more piercings, tattoos and crazy haircuts. haha!

SO yeh I guess a whole lot about how we go through life is about perspective, and I'm speaking as someone who is very easily swayed by circumstances, hormones, weather, well pretty much anything AND nothing! So it's a big challenge for me, but one that I'm battling with - especially as now I am doing life alongside someone I love and who loves me and the way I view things and the way i feel can have a huge impact on him and on us.

1 comment:

John and Fritha said...

Lovely. And the first year of marriage includes some arguments but those are heavily outweighed by the kisses and friendship and giggles. It's going to be wonderful and i'm so excited for you both. xxx