tired of feeling restless, hovering in between seasons. Yet. unwilling to settle. unready? scared of any sense of long-term. yet hungering for stability. but not really. i don't think. i don't know. frustrated by my not-knowing. annoyed by the fuzziness in my brain.

always, thinking about what's next. and not what's NOW. feeling like i've had enough and yet that i've barely even begun. here. same place but different faces. i miss hanging out with people who've known me for more than two years. we won't ever really go back to how things were. only in my imagination.

YET, i do belong, and i do have a place, places. even if i don't see it. i have worked hard, to know and be known. and there has been progress. i do know a whole selection of unique and brilliant people. i am not alone. slowly our lives are intertwining. i have a room with a beautiful view and there's been some awesome sunrises recently. i can see the sea as i walk to work(s). there's still plenty more to see...