So last time I wrote, apart from the poem, it was 2013.
And now it's most definitely 2014. I kind of like the sound of 2014.
I, for one, was definitely ready for last year to end... it wasn't an easy one. Starting off with an unexpected tragedy in hubby's family and continuing with feelings of restlessness as our time in Brighton came to an end. Then the whole trying to get used to a totally new place and quite a different way of life for the past few months down in Cornwall. Of course there were good times too... highlights being our trip to Portugal, visitors over the summer, and Keena and Gabriel's wedding in September. Reflecting now, it's easy to feel like the darker days of feeling lonely, worrying about money and wondering where we 'fit' outweighed the brighter ones. But I cannot deny the kindness of people who welcomed us to Cornwall, the way God has provided for us through jobs and generous individuals that meant that somehow the rent did get paid, eventually. As much as I miss friends in Brighton, I also cannot say that we don't have friends here. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. And I really am thankful, and I also know that my feelings don't always reflect the truth of things. So... I AM thankful. But I often FEEL sad. Both of those statements are true. And can be, all at the same time.
Yes, let's keep to the track of old year/new year blah blah blah.
What I was getting at is that I was glad for 2013, but a bit apprehensive about 2014 beginning. I think it's good to have stuff that you're excited about/looking forwards to/aiming for - especially at the beginning of a new season. I know it's only a number/a date, but I am really glad for newness, and the chance it allows to 'start again' as it were. And in December I was wondering what 2014 held, and in my current state of not being the most enthusiastic cracker in the box (or something like that), I couldn't see much to get excited about. And that made me scared, because a couple of years ago at New Year I felt a similar way, whilst living in Brighton, doing a job I didn't like. And that was when I got depressed and ended up taking medication. I've only just stopped taking it, mainly I must admit, because I find the frequent phone calls/visits to GP to get the pills quite stressful! I wasn't on that strong a dose, and I haven't noticed much difference. I think I have had my serious face on rather a lot if hubby's comments are anything to go by. And I am a little scared that maybe that's my 'norm'. A bit low, a bit flat. I don't know.
Anyways, yeh, so I was feeling a bit nervous about entering this year in a similar fashion. But we have tried to be proactive about getting to a frame of mind where we want to be here, deep down in the South West. Hubby has plans to go to college this year, which I think is really great. Aaaand, we have plans to move into Penzance in the next few months. Guess I've learnt that country living isn't for me, not now, anyways. We want to be somewhere where we don't have to drive everywhere, where we can easily go to local events/pubs/bars and meet people and get involved rather than staying home every evening with the TV. So I guess I'm excited about that and the new things it will hopefully bring. Of course, it still requires proactivity on my part. Another resolution. (Perform poetry, join a sports club, etc, etc).
This has got long again. Which is why I need to blog more often - to avoid overloading you. Brain vomit. Thanks for reading if you're still here. I'm not on facebook - yep, another resolution - at the moment, so I've got less excuse and more time supposedly. That's if I get off twitter, which is currently replacing my top distraction. Oh, if you can recommend any good blogs you read, that would be cool. :-)
OK I should go. Will just leave you with a couple of pics from last week, when we had three dear friends/family down to visit. It was very lovely.
And now it's most definitely 2014. I kind of like the sound of 2014.
I, for one, was definitely ready for last year to end... it wasn't an easy one. Starting off with an unexpected tragedy in hubby's family and continuing with feelings of restlessness as our time in Brighton came to an end. Then the whole trying to get used to a totally new place and quite a different way of life for the past few months down in Cornwall. Of course there were good times too... highlights being our trip to Portugal, visitors over the summer, and Keena and Gabriel's wedding in September. Reflecting now, it's easy to feel like the darker days of feeling lonely, worrying about money and wondering where we 'fit' outweighed the brighter ones. But I cannot deny the kindness of people who welcomed us to Cornwall, the way God has provided for us through jobs and generous individuals that meant that somehow the rent did get paid, eventually. As much as I miss friends in Brighton, I also cannot say that we don't have friends here. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. And I really am thankful, and I also know that my feelings don't always reflect the truth of things. So... I AM thankful. But I often FEEL sad. Both of those statements are true. And can be, all at the same time.
[interjection] I'm finding this blog post really hard to write. Just saying. Because each sentence gets me going down a certain track of thought and a new paragraph forms, going off at a tangent. Right now I have started a paragraph on feelings, and another on faith. But they are such big areas to ponder upon. Probably two of the biggest and most significant for me. So maybe I'll leave them for another day. With no promises, but as usual, one of my resolutions is to write more.
Yes, let's keep to the track of old year/new year blah blah blah.
What I was getting at is that I was glad for 2013, but a bit apprehensive about 2014 beginning. I think it's good to have stuff that you're excited about/looking forwards to/aiming for - especially at the beginning of a new season. I know it's only a number/a date, but I am really glad for newness, and the chance it allows to 'start again' as it were. And in December I was wondering what 2014 held, and in my current state of not being the most enthusiastic cracker in the box (or something like that), I couldn't see much to get excited about. And that made me scared, because a couple of years ago at New Year I felt a similar way, whilst living in Brighton, doing a job I didn't like. And that was when I got depressed and ended up taking medication. I've only just stopped taking it, mainly I must admit, because I find the frequent phone calls/visits to GP to get the pills quite stressful! I wasn't on that strong a dose, and I haven't noticed much difference. I think I have had my serious face on rather a lot if hubby's comments are anything to go by. And I am a little scared that maybe that's my 'norm'. A bit low, a bit flat. I don't know.
Anyways, yeh, so I was feeling a bit nervous about entering this year in a similar fashion. But we have tried to be proactive about getting to a frame of mind where we want to be here, deep down in the South West. Hubby has plans to go to college this year, which I think is really great. Aaaand, we have plans to move into Penzance in the next few months. Guess I've learnt that country living isn't for me, not now, anyways. We want to be somewhere where we don't have to drive everywhere, where we can easily go to local events/pubs/bars and meet people and get involved rather than staying home every evening with the TV. So I guess I'm excited about that and the new things it will hopefully bring. Of course, it still requires proactivity on my part. Another resolution. (Perform poetry, join a sports club, etc, etc).
This has got long again. Which is why I need to blog more often - to avoid overloading you. Brain vomit. Thanks for reading if you're still here. I'm not on facebook - yep, another resolution - at the moment, so I've got less excuse and more time supposedly. That's if I get off twitter, which is currently replacing my top distraction. Oh, if you can recommend any good blogs you read, that would be cool. :-)
OK I should go. Will just leave you with a couple of pics from last week, when we had three dear friends/family down to visit. It was very lovely.
Out and about in the windy weather with Keena and Helen. My glove had just blown out my pocket and off the cliff. I was a particularly ugly one (fake fur lining and all) bought from a charity shop so I wasn't toooo sad.
Charades on New Year's Eve. We stayed in, ate A LOT, drank a fair bit,
and played games till the early hours. Nice.
I hope 2014 is a goodun' for you. x
2 comments:
2014 sounds like it's going to bring great things for you two. I look forward to hearing about them as they happen. As an aside, one of the reasons I stopped taking meds was that I felt like I just couldn't feel anything anymore. Maybe I was on the wrong stuff or the wrong dosage but it evened me out so I was easier for other people to be around but I was so level I just didn't feel much of anything. None of the natural, healthy highs, none of the natural healthy lows. Don't know if that's what you've found but thought I'd share that in case it's at all helpful.
You lost your 'beautiful' leopard print glove?! Heartbreaking. x
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